early ejaculation: what is PE?
The number 1 cause of premature ejaculation is an uncontrollable and overwhelming urge to ejaculate, produced from over-stimulation by your lover. This urge seems impossible to fight, or so people think! Your body reacts like this to ensure impregnation and the survival of our species. So basically it's a natural reaction. A natural reaction that you can alter. You know it can be altered because some men don't suffer from premature ejaculation and if it's a natural reaction it can't be a physical problem. So there is nothing medically wrong with you.
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man reaches orgasm and ejaculates too quickly and without control. In other words, ejaculation occurs before a man wants it to happen. It may occur before or after beginning foreplay or intercourse. Some men experience a lot of personal distress because of this condition.
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man is satisfied with the length of coitus.
(read more on early ejaculation)
More on early ejaculation
According to several medical texts, premature ejaculation is not typically caused or exacerbated by any physical illness or abnormality. It is not the fault of the woman, regardless of how exciting her mate finds her. It is a curable, emotionally caused problem that some believe is related to general performance anxiety.
Finally, there's no question that anxiety plays a part in many cases of premature ejaculation. If you're nervous, you're likely to come too quickly. That's why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely. But we wouldn't recommend alcohol as a treatment!
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early 'conditioning'. In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick - so as to avoid detection! The idea is that all this hectic rush 'conditions' him to climax as quickly as possible.
Several factors may contribute to premature ejaculation. Psychological problems such as stress, depression and other factors that affect mental and emotional health can aggravate this condition. However, there is growing evidence that biological factors can make some men more prone to experience premature ejaculation.
early ejaculation
Premature ejaculation should never be a problem for a considerate lover. A man is usually satisfied after he reaches a climax. If he reaches it before she does and doesn't help her to reach one also, he's inconsiderate whether he climaxes in 2 seconds or 5 hours. Most women take more than 20 minutes to climax with conventional penile-vaginal contact and only 4 minutes when they stimulate themselves because women know more about women than men do.
The stop-start method involves the partner stimulating the man's penis, except that when the man instructs, the partner stops stimulating the man's penis before ejaculation becomes inevitable. Then as he feels he regains control, he instructs the partner to begin stimulating his penis again. This procedure is repeated three times before allowing the man to ejaculate on the fourth time. The couple repeats this exercise three times a week, until the man has good control, then they progress to stop-start with lubrication, and then intercourse with the woman on top and the man not moving. He again instructs her to stop moving when he senses he is losing control. The couple progresses over subsequent times to the having the man move, then side by side intercourse. Instead of stopping and starting, the couple may progress to merely slowing down to enable the man to regain control of his urge to ejaculate. The therapists counseling patients using this stop-start technique report a 90 percent success rate in delaying ejaculation.
The emergence of sexual tension and relationship difficulties are greatly reduced if sexual activity occurs under these circumstances: only after the partners know each other well and are comfortable with one another. Both partners consent to sexual intimacy without feeling pressured. Sexual activity should occur in a private and relaxed setting. In addition, contraception issues should be discussed, decided and acted upon by the couple.
Squeeze Methods: this method involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop and start method can be used with the squeeze method as well. (read more on early ejaculation)
early ejaculation - Tips
Some penile skin creams advertise that they help a man last longer. These products contain topical anesthetics that dull sensation in the penis. If you like to play with penile sensation, there's no harm in using them. But they're not a good idea for learning to last longer. They dull sensation. But the key to lasting longer is for the man to become more familiar with what he feels so he can back off from his point of no return while still remaining highly aroused.
The program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment, but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them. Women's main complaints about men's sexual style are that it's too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can't understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it. Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation. But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off your penis and you last longer. Basically, if men would make love the way women prefer, women would have fewer complaints, and men would have fewer sex problems.
Start with masturbation with a dry hand. By varying how you caress your penis, you can learn to stay highly aroused for quite a while without coming. When you feel yourself approaching your point of no return, simply back off a bit, stroke yourself more gently or not at all, and stay aroused without ejaculating. Then as you feel yourself getting a little distance from your point of no return, return to more vigorous self-stimulation. Repeat this several times over several sessions. Approach your point of no return, then back off. For most men, it doesn't take long to develop good ejaculatory control while alone.
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